This or Pizza

Wait! Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo? Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, both in quality of ingredients and overall taste. Oh no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.
- Kevin "The Office"

I decided to have my good friend Jaime Mengual, baker extraordinaire, teach me how to make pizza dough as I am one to buy my dough pre-made at Trader Joes but after trying it from scratch, not only is it easy to make but tastes amazing. Our respective girlfriends came over and helped by making salads and sampling our pizza. We made two types of pizza so the dough and the two toppings recipes are below.

Also, Jaime really likes sake, as do I, so I just wanted to take time to mention this amazing bottle of $5 sake they sell at Trader Joes. It is Asian-approved... 'nuff said.

The Dough:


2-1/2 cups bread flour
2 T Sugar
1-1/2 tsp salt
2 T Olive Oil plus some to rub crust
1 cup water
1 tsp yeast
Corn Meal
Garlic (Minced)

Instead of writing this all out we just made a semi-coherent video. I know we finished the sake before the pizza was even out of the oven but hopefully this makes sense. Just make sure you rub your crust with garlic and olive oil before in goes in the oven, both sides. I prefer to pre-bake my crust halfway before adding any toppings whereas Jaime likes to add everything then bake it in one fell swoop...




Sundried Tomato Pesto

1 cp Sundried Tomatoes
2 T Olive Oil
4 cloves Garlic
3 T Balsamic Vinigar
1/2 cup Parmesan
1/2 cup Kalmata Olives
1 cup Basil
1/4 cup Pine Nuts
1-1/2 cup Feta

There isn't really much to do for this, just dump all the ingredients into a food processor or blender and pulse until it is all finely minced.

Spread on the pizza then add the feta and we are ready to bake!

Editorial Note: Next time, pan out more

so we can see all the goods.

Baby Spinach, Pancetta and Ricotta

1 bag Baby Spinach
4 cloves Garlic
1-1/2 cup Pancetta
2 R Olive Oil
2 cup Ricotta
1 half Lemon

This is just as easy as the Pesto recipe, simple fry the pancetta in the garlic and oil until it turns a darker red then toss in the spinach for about 3 min squeezing the lemon over it when it is done.

Spread the ricotta on the crust after baking it half way then add the spinach and pancetta.

It was even good when I warmed it up with some extra mozzarella and basil for leftovers this morning.

This or Home Made Habanero Oil Tuna Tartare

"Not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck, you're going to have to do it the rest of your life so you may as well be good at it."
- Robert Rodriguez

This is a phrase I live by.


Ingredients:
1 Filet Sushi Grade Tuna
2 Spring Onion (aka: Scallion)
1/2 Cucumber
2 small or 1 large Avocado
Corn (or canola, vegetable, olive) Oil for frying
5 Habanero Chilis
Avocado Oil
1 package Wontons
1/2 Lemon
1 T Soy
1 T Olive Oil

Day Before:
Slice the habaneros into small strips and add to avacado oil in pickling jar to infuse overnight.

Day of:
I like to cut my wontons from their normal square shapes into more plateable small circles. Using the sharp part of a glass just bear down (don't shatter a glass, I am not paying medical bills) and twist. This should perforate them so they can easily be cut or torn. While you are cutting the wontons add your oil into a pan on medium-high heat.

Drop a test piece in your oil, if it bubbles and instantly rises to the surface then you are set to fry; if it falls to the bottom of the pan and only bubbles a little you want your oil hotter. Fry them for about 5-10 seconds until they are golden outside and get progressively lighter towards the middle. I like to dust mine with a curry/ginger powder mix, but that is optional.

Take your scallion and avocado and dice them into small pieces. Peel the cucumber and remove the middle seeds; chop into small centimeter-sized pieces.

The tuna also should be cut into centimeter-sized pieces taking care to remove any of the whiteness. With the lemon, Infused Habanero Oil (to taste, obviously be careful it is potent), and soy add it all together and mix well. Season with salt and pepper to taste. The heat of the oil should cut the fattiness of the tuna and avocado with a nice heat but not completely overwhelm it.

This or Raspberry Swirl Vanilla Cupcakes

After watching Alton Brown over complicate cupcakes on Good Eats i decided i should take a crack at the sugary desert items because they couldn't possibly be as laborious as he purported. I used a modified version of Magnolia's cupcake recipe and added a homemade raspberry swirl. For the swirl I condensed frozen(cheaper) raspberries with water and sugar on my stove-top until think then strained them adding it to the batter in a swirl midway through baking.

mhhh swirl... drool.

This was a pretty simple recipe to follow, i noticed my oldschool O'Keefe and Merit stove required about 5min less than the recipe called for but other than that these turned out just as good as your $5 sprinkles/yummy/whoever trendy cupcakes.

This or Chard

Swiss chard with garlic and ginger.


3tbs garlic minced (one big bulb or two small)
1/4 cup minced fresh ginger
2tbs soy sauce
1tsp secret T.O.N. yellow curry spice blend
3tbs ghee (clarified butter)
1 bunch chard
2 dried chilies

To start mince your garlic, dried chilies, and peel/mince your ginger.
Melt the ghee with the soy sauce in a large skillet.
Fry the ginger, garlic, and chilies with the curry for about a minute
Cut your chard longways into one inch strips, wash and while still semi-wet throw it in. The extra moisture helps keep it from burning.
Cook until 98% of the moisture has boiled off and the red stalks are tender.

This or Famers Market

dandelion greens
scallions
baby eggplant
yukon golds
maui onion
brussel sprouts
Thai chilies
Mexican squash
collard greens
Swiss Chard

all for under 20 bucks

This or Chili Peppers

This or Chili Peppers, our not so secret recipe for sweet pickled Thai chili peppers which are available on our site.

This would fill an average Kerr pickling jar.
1/2 bulb of garlic
4 sprigs of dill
3/4 cup of scallions
Thai chili peppers
1 tbs salt/peper
4 tbs sugar
white vinegar

First peel and smash your garlic, it doesnt matter if it is a little old, i find this is a great way to get rid of that older more pungent garlic.

Cut each sprig of dill into three or four pieces, you dont want them to be too small as they arent meant to be eaten. The dill ads a nice classic pickle bite to this traditional Thai condiment.

Cut the more leafy parts of the scallions at the top off. The whiter more robust parts towards the bottom hold up best during the pickling process where as the greener parts breakdown and loose their shape.
Halve your peppers discarding the extra seeds then add the sugar, salt and pepper.
Finally fill the jar covering the peppers with white vinegar.

This or Nothing Catering Blogery Bloggity Blog

Here it is, finally, the boys at TON are on the internet sharing assorted misspelled, grammatically incorrect and generally weird videos and recipes for assorted edible things. Check us out at thisornothing.com for all kinds of other assorted cookery.